A new world
by fannyh
Summary: The war is about to end. Everyone's waking up to a new world. But will it be a better world?


_**A new world**_

**Before**

They were both awake. The alarm-clock hadn't gone off yet and the sun had just risen, yet they were both awake. Remus was holding her hand in his but he didn't look at her; he was staring at the ceiling.

She was watching him. His greyish hair was falling in his eyes and she removed it gently with her free hand. He still didn't look at her.

His hand was warm and holding hers a little bit too hard. She squeezed his hand, he squeezed back. But his eyes didn't meet hers.

She had morphed her hair black. It seemed appropriate and it reminded her of Sirius. She wished he would have been there, she knew he had wanted to. Thinking of Sirius made her eyes burn with tears. If Remus had looked at her she would have seen tears in his eyes too.

The alarm-clock rang. Tonks turned it off and looked at Remus; his eyes was still fixed at the ceiling.

"Are we going to be silent forever?" She asked him.

She thought she heard him laugh a little but it could all had been in her hard because he said without smiling; "Of course not. I was just thinking."

"About what?" She didn't let go of his hand.

"About everything. About this day, about the war, about Harry, Sirius…you."

"You were thinking about me?"

"Yeah, I'm always thinking about you," he still wasn't looking at her. "I've been thinking about you since the day we meet. Do you remember?"

"'course I do. I came falling down that stupid staircase and fell right into your arms. You've always been the one to catch me. You couldn't stop me from falling for you though. I am still falling."

Finally he looked at her. She had never seen his eyes so dark, yet he was smiling.

"I love you…"

"I know you do…"

"After today nothing will ever be the same again." She didn't recognize his voice and it scared her.

"We'll still have each other."

"But what if…" He didn't finish.

"Don't you say that! Harry will defeat Voldemort and tomorrow we will wake up to a new world; a better world."

"You don't know that." He was looking at the ceiling again but he still held her hand in his. "This is a war. People die in wars. Harry is going to fight Voldemort and we will fight beside him. You can't know that everything will be fine. The most important thing is Harry, we can't forget that. We have to help him defeat Voldemort, whatever it takes. This is something worth dying for."

"But you are not going to die! You'll be fine, and I'll be fine and tonight we will be back here; lying in bed together, talking about what to do now when the war is over."

For a couple of minutes he didn't speak but then he said; "We should get up now. We have to be at Grimmauld Place in 40 minutes."

He got up from the bed. Her eyes followed him as he entered the bathroom and then she also got up from the bed.

She was dressed when he returned from the bathroom. She sat in silence at the bed and watched him get dressed. When he had finished he sat down beside her. His arm felt warm against hers.

"I want you to know," he took her hand in his and looked at her, "how much you mean to me.

"Remus, don't! This isn't goodbye."

"No," he continued, "this is me telling you how much I love you. Since you came into my life it feels like I've had a reason to live. You make me so happy and I am so sorry for everything I've put you through."

"Remus…" Tears were falling down her cheeks.

"I love you, Tonks. I love you more then I ever thought was possible. I love your smile and your laugh. I love the way you always make a room appear much brighter just by entering it. I love your pink hair! And your purple hair!" His fingers played with the long ponytail falling down her back. "And your black hair. I love everything about you and I wouldn't be able to live without you…"

She interrupted him with a kiss. His lips were warm and she ran her fingers through his hair. "I love you, I love you, I love you…" She whispered in his ear.

He put his arms around her and pulled her closer. The hug was tight and she breathed into his sweater.

She couldn't tell how long they sat there; all she knew was that when they parted it was time to get going.

They stood together beside the bed, holding each others hands. Just as they Apparated they turned to face each other. She looked into his eyes. That was when she knew…

**After**

She had no idea how she had got home, but she was sitting on the bed. The room was dark and she could hear people talking and laughing on the street outside.

People were celebrating.

Celebrating a war that was finally over.

Celebrating a villain that was finally defeated.

Celebrating a hero that was still alive.

Tonks couldn't celebrate, actually she had trouble just breathing. It felt like an elephant was sitting on her chest.

She closed her eyes. She could see him fall and she heard the laughter. She opened her eyes quickly. She could no longer see him falling but she could still hear the laughter in her head.

She wanted to cry but she couldn't. She had no tears left. She was lonelier then she had ever been in her entire life. She had turned down the company of all her friends; she had told them that she needed to be alone. She knew that it wouldn't have mattered if she had had company. She still would have been alone.

She lay down on the bed. She could smell him on the sheets. She grabbed his pillow and held it tight. She thought that her heart would break. Her entire inside ached and she was afraid she was actually going to pass out.

She inhaled his scent and closed her eyes once more. She tried to fight the image of him falling by thinking about something else.

Something happy.

She thought about the first time they meet, their first date, their first kiss, the first time they made love. She shook her head but kept her eyes closed.

_He's gone, he's gone, he's gone…_

She was so tired but she wasn't able to sleep. Her entire body was tense and she was afraid of nightmares.

She burrowed her head in his pillow and waited, waited for a new day to begin and with this day also a new world. A world that was supposed to be a better world but, to Tonks, seemed much, much worse.


End file.
